Women's Dictionary

Just to show that I can be at least partly PC (that's politically correct of course!)
 

• Airhead (er*hed) n.  What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
• Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.  A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
• Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.  You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner".
• Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.  Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
• Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.  An appliance designed to eat socks.
• Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.  A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a pound of M&M chocolate covered peanuts.
• Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.  The last two minutes of a football game.
• Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.  To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
• Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.  Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.  See also "Magician".
• Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.  Similar to a black hole in space...if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
• Childbirth (child*brth) n.  You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, "Focus... breath...push... Good Girl!"
• Park (park) v./n.  Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere romantic".  After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
• Patience (pa*shens) n.  The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
• Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.  A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
• Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
• Zillion (zil*yen) n.  The number of times you ask someone male to take out the trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway.

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