Gender Seminars

As part of their "Battle of the Sexes Week" in September '99, Autojoker.com came up with the following e-mails. I'm sitting on the fence on this, though form opinions of your own...
 

SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females):
 

• Combating Stupidity
• You, Too, Can Do Housework
• PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
• How to Fill an Ice Tray
• We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money
• Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am
• Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash My Silks")
• Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception
• Get a Life: Learn to Cook
• How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You're Obviously Wrong
• Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right
• Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
• You: The Weaker Sex
• Reasons to Give Flowers
• How to Stay Awake in Public
• Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the Bathroom
• Garbage: Getting it to the Curb
• You Can Fall Asleep Without IT If You Really Try
• The Morning Dilemma: If IT's Awake: Take a Shower
• I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please
• How to Put the Toilet Lid Down (formerly titled "No, It's Not A Bidet")
• "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms
• Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bull
• How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost
• The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
• Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex
• Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes
• Mothers-in-Law: They are People Too
• Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home
• You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
• Seeing the True You (formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked")
• Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works
• The Attainable Goal: Omitting "tits" From Your Vocabulary

SEMINARS FOR FEMALES (prepared and presented by males):

1. Elementary Map Reading
2. Crying and Law Enforcement
3. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR
4. You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4 Hours
5. Gaining Five Pounds vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrast
6. The Seven-Outfit Week
7. PMS: It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine ("It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty: Deal With it")
8. Driving I: Getting Past Automatic Transmissions
9. Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Orange Lights
10. Driving III: Approximating a Constant Speed
11. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It's As Simple As Oil and Water
12. Football: Not a Game: A Sacrament
13. Telephone Translations (formerly titled "Me Too Equals I Love You")
14. How to Earn Your Own Money
15. Gift-giving Fundamentals (formerly titled "Fabric Bad, Electronics Good")
16. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
17. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
18. Yes, You Can Fill Up At A Self Serve Station
19. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels
20. What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
21. His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too
22. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
23. Commitment Schmittment (formerly titled "Wedlock Schmedlock")
24. To Honor and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above "I Do"
25. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House
26. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man?

Disclaimer: I didn't write these, so don't blame me that there are fewer seminars for females than males...
With thanks to Autojoker.com
 
 

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