Viruses You Hope Your Computer Never Gets......

• Lewinsky Virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
• Ronald Reagan Virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it was stored.
• Mike Tyson Virus: Quits after one byte.
• Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 300MB hard drive suddenly compresses to 100MB, then slowly expands to 250MB.
• Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus: Deletes all old files.
• Ellen Degeneres Virus: Disks can no longer be inserted.
• Titanic Virus (a strain of the Lewinsky Virus): Your whole computer goes down.
• Disney Virus: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
• Prozac Virus: Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
• Joey Buttafuoco Virus: Only attacks minor files.
• Arnold Schwartzenegger Virus: Terminates some files, but it'll be back.
• Lorena Bobbit Virus: Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5" floppy, then discards through Windows.
• Viagara Virus: Creates a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
• Clinton Virus: Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory.

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