What the opposite sex really means...
So here's another Dictionary for you...

What the girls really mean when they say...

40-ish                             49
Adventurer                         Has had more partners than you ever will.
Athletic                           Flat-chested.
Average                            looking Ugly.
Beautiful                          Pathological liar.
Contagious Smile                   Bring your penicillin.
Educated                           College drop-out.
Emotionally secure                 Medicated.
Feminist                           Fat; ball buster.
Free spirit                        Substance user.
Friendship first                   Trying to live down reputation as a slut.
Fun                                Annoying.
Gentle                             Comatose.
Good Listener                      Borderline autistic. 
New-Age                            All body hair, all the time. 
Old-Fashioned                      Lights out, missionary position only.
Open-minded                        Desperate.
Outgoing                           Loud.
Passionate                         Loud.
Poet                               Depressive Schizophrenic.
Professional                       Real Witch.
Redhead                            Shops the Clairol section.
Reubenesque                        Grossly fat.
Romantic                           Looks better by candle light.
Voluptuous                         Very fat.
Weight proportional to height      Tall and fat.
Wants Soulmate                     One step away from stalking.
Widow                              Nagged first husband to death.
Young at heart                     Toothless granny. 

40-ish                             55 and looking for a 25 year old.
Athletic                           Sits on the couch and watches ESPN.
Average looking                    Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back.
Educated                           Will always treat you like an idiot.
Free Spirit                        Will sleep with your sister, friends, pets...
Friendship first                   As long as friendship involves nudity. 
Fun                                Good with a remote and a six pack.
Good looking                       Arrogant.
Honest                             Pathological liar.
Huggable                           Overweight, more body hair than a bear.
Like to cuddle                     Insecure, overly dependent.
Mature                             Until you get to know him
Open-minded                        Wants to also sleep with your sister.
Physically fit                     Spends a lot of time in admiring himself.
Poet                               Has written on a bathroom stall.
Spiritual                          Once went to church with his grandmother.
Stable                             Occasional stalker, but never arrested.
Thoughtful                         Says "please" when demanding a beer.

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