Accidents Do Happen
 

This one has been circulating on the Net for a few years now. It's old material, but if it works for Bob Monkhouse, it works for me!

Having a car accident can be a confusing experience for many people, especially when asked to write down the details of the accident in a few well-chosen words.  The following words were chosen by drivers in the summaries purportedly submitted to police when asked.

• Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
• The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.
• The proximate/indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in  a small car with a big mouth.
• I saw her look twice, she appeared to be making slow progress, then, we met on impact.
• The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside.  He then went into the bush with just his rear-end showing.
• I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep and had the accident.
• I had been learning to drive with power-steering.  I turned the wheel, what I thought was enough, and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
• I was on my way to the doctor's with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
• I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.
• I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured scull.
• I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
• I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the highway when I struck him.
• A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's lap.
• The telephone pole was approaching fast.  I was attempting to swerve out of it's path, when it struck my front end.
• I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
• I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprung up, obstructing my vision.  I did not see the other car.
• The accident occurred while I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering into the other vehicle.
• As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
• My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
• An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.
• When I saw I could not avoid the collision. I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
• I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in the ditch by some stray cows.
• The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
• No one was to blame for the accident, but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert.

Back to contents | INDEX